Was looking forward to tonight all week. Planned earlier in the week to go on an IKEA run with my friend Meg who I haven't gotten to hang out with in a while. We left right after I got done with work. She suggested Good Earth for dinner, I had never been there, but since the morning sickness has subsided this week, I was game for anything! I had the most tasty nachos and Meg had the tune melt...which may sound boring, but was absolutely delicious (cause of course we had to share a few bites!).
After a great meal and a lot of chatting we headed off to IKEA. Bummer is the store was under construction and one worker told us over 90% off their stock was gone until they completed the renovation in May. SAD! We did find about half the items on my list and a cute little setup for Meg to make a little herb garden off her deck! All in all a wonderful night!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
How do you teach kids tactfulness?
I love how kids just say what is on their mind. They have true honesty, which can be such a precious gift. But at what age is it not cute anymore?
My just turned four year-old tonight was having trouble understanding just how far away September is from now. I tried using our daughter's next birthday as a comparison which just happens to be within days of my due date with our 4th. So I mentioned to Eli that the event would happen around Alivia's next birthday and he responds with, "Oh, you mean when you get really fat?" Which I actually thought was cute and funny, but then realized maybe I should be correcting his words. I don't mind at all if he calls my belly fat, but by no means want him to tell any other pregnant or even non pregnant women they are fat!
Of course, my first thought is do I use that word, where is he getting it from? But the real root of the issue is how to teach him not to hurt others' feelings. How, in my everyday life, can I show him to be kind? Since I have learned, showing is so much more effective then telling!
The more my children grow, I realize more about myself, good and bad. I see things they do and say and think, wow, I do that too and never realized it until I watched them! It is amazing how much these little people can make me want to be a better person/mom/wife/daughter/friend.
My just turned four year-old tonight was having trouble understanding just how far away September is from now. I tried using our daughter's next birthday as a comparison which just happens to be within days of my due date with our 4th. So I mentioned to Eli that the event would happen around Alivia's next birthday and he responds with, "Oh, you mean when you get really fat?" Which I actually thought was cute and funny, but then realized maybe I should be correcting his words. I don't mind at all if he calls my belly fat, but by no means want him to tell any other pregnant or even non pregnant women they are fat!
Of course, my first thought is do I use that word, where is he getting it from? But the real root of the issue is how to teach him not to hurt others' feelings. How, in my everyday life, can I show him to be kind? Since I have learned, showing is so much more effective then telling!
The more my children grow, I realize more about myself, good and bad. I see things they do and say and think, wow, I do that too and never realized it until I watched them! It is amazing how much these little people can make me want to be a better person/mom/wife/daughter/friend.
Wonderful lunch today!
Today I got to spend my lunch hour with my dear friend, Leigha. Leigha and I were introduced by my co-worker (coincidentally, Leah!) at IBM when we were both pregnant with our first. Our due dates were within weeks of each other. I am pretty sure it was July of 2005. I distinctly remember our first conversation. I stopped in her office and asked her if she was planning on breast-feeding her baby (and at that time...I didn't consider myself that outgoing!). But my office-mate, Jess, during my co-op at IBM had her first baby in January of 2003 and was a leader of Le Leche League (LLL), unfortunately that week was the first of the 4 month (1 a month) session and Jess would not be there. I wanted to breastfeed (mostly because my mom said I probably wouldn't have enough milk because she didn't) but didn't want to go by myself! Leigha said she was planning on it and would go and we were instant friends. When I asked were she lived so I could pick her up, it was amazing, because she lived a block away...literally could almost see her house from the street outside mine!
Our first babies are 16 days apart, our second ones are 2 months apart and the third are a little over 9 months apart. And the order is boy, boy, girl for both of us!
Anyway...since my layoff from IBM 2 years ago and us moving 25 minutes north last year...we don't get to spend nearly the time together that we used to. So I so much treasure our far and few between lunch dates! I love hearing about her family and how they are doing and growing. Since her hubby helped watch Garett after my sister moving home, our oldest boys are such good friends. They always thought they would go to school together, so since we moved right before they started Kindergarten this year, we try to get them together whenever possible! It is just so nice to have friends around you that also love your kids :)
Our first babies are 16 days apart, our second ones are 2 months apart and the third are a little over 9 months apart. And the order is boy, boy, girl for both of us!
Anyway...since my layoff from IBM 2 years ago and us moving 25 minutes north last year...we don't get to spend nearly the time together that we used to. So I so much treasure our far and few between lunch dates! I love hearing about her family and how they are doing and growing. Since her hubby helped watch Garett after my sister moving home, our oldest boys are such good friends. They always thought they would go to school together, so since we moved right before they started Kindergarten this year, we try to get them together whenever possible! It is just so nice to have friends around you that also love your kids :)
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Famous Last Words!
I have been saying I would start writing things down that happen in our crazy little life for at least a year now. Today is the day to take that plunge!
As a mother of 3 (soon to be 4), working full time, also carrying a successful Pampered Chef business and trying to be a good wife to her loving husband, I often get asked the question, "How do you possibly do it all?". And I don't really have a good answer, I just do it. I know a lot of credit goes to my wonderful family and friends! But thinking back, I think I have just always been this type of person. My husband Gregg and I started dating our sophomore year of high school. I remember him asking me the summer before college when I would slow down. I told him in college I won't get involved in everything! I had decided to concentrate on my studies and have time to do fun crafting and things on the side. I even decided to stop dancing to save some of my time. Famous last words right. By the beginning of sophomore year of college I was VP of Hall Council, working in the Math office, tutoring several students and one lab in Computer Science, and carrying 19 credits. (I'm sure there was more I can't remember now, 11 years later!) By the end of first semester I was accepting an RA position I would keep through the rest of my time there! He loves me despite my craziness and proposed on New Years Eve during that sophomore year.
Once finishing my 4 year degree, getting a job at IBM, getting married that summer, and starting my Pampered Chef business in the fall, I was so glad to be done with school I said I would never do anymore. Again...famous last words! Three months later my third line manager was advising me to go back for my Master's Degree, paid for by the company, before I decide to start a family! He knew exactly how to pull out my "I can take on anything" attitude and there I was in school again while working full time! It was scheduled to be a 5 year program while working full time, which would be fine since we weren't going to start a family for around 5 years anyway.
Once Again...famous last words...During my third semester (1 1/2 years in), after many doctor appointments, we finally find out the pain in my side was being caused by a cyst left over from ovulation and I was pregnant! Gregg and I are the oldest children and this would be the first grandchild on both sides. Needless to say everyone was very excited even though we had not planned on it. In fact, a few months before we were at our 5 year class reunion where a few friends already had kids and were asking us when we would start. We threw out our 5 year time frame (yes...notice it hadn't moved to 4 years...we were still saying 5!) and left it at that! Funny that at the 10 year class reunion...when we should have had 1 or been pregnant...we already had 2 boys -- but now I'm getting ahead of myself!
So our first born was a boy, we had no problem deciding on the name Garett (two t's to match Gregg's two g's) and he was a major blessing in our life coming in December 2005. My sister, Janna, decided to go to massage school and we talked her into moving to MN to live with us and we'd cover her school cost while she worked as Garett's Nanny in return. That was a huge blessing too. We will forever miss having her living with or close to us! Not long after she moved back to WI, Garett was 18 months old and we decided to have #2. Well little did we know when we decided we were already there! In fact I do remember a comment from Gregg to my Dad after a few to many beers saying "We never get to try!". He still gets teased for that one!
Now through all this time I was still working on my Master's and little baby Garett was learning a lot about databases, because I had to multitask. I read my textbooks aloud to him! I know, poor kid is either going to be a computer math geek like his mom or completely hate everything that is computer related! So my forth year I decided to double up on classes and get this master's degree done. That urge to be done was then intensified by the onset of baby #2 news. But I do what has to be done and I graduated and walked across that stage very pregnant in December of 2007!
Elijah (Eli) entered our family in February 2008. With Garett I had no problem going back to work when he was 8 weeks old. Eli wasn't a c-section so my leave was only 6 weeks long. I was not ready to go back at that point. I was finally getting the urge to be at home with my kids. I did go down to 30 hours a week...but for a salaried employee it was never just 30 hours. Although I did have my Friday's off with my boys. When summer came we spent lots of time at the outdoor pool at the Athletic Center. We loved it there. We also loved the park and shopping. It never phased me to pack up the two kids and head out!
Gregg had transitioned out of his financial adviser role and into a leadership role training new financial representatives. We had hoped this would cut back on his late hours, but it did not. The good thing is that it provided a steady paycheck, which we did not have on commission.
In January 2010 we found out we were expecting again. This one we did get to try for a few months! Hoping for a girl, but Gregg warned we were done either way! Just over 9 weeks I was walking into work and devastation hit. Just a couple weeks before at the first baby appointment the midwife thought she saw twins. We decided to wait it out instead of going in for a big ultrasound at that point. But now...at 9 weeks I feel leaking. I quickly walk into the building and straight for the bathroom. It was my fear...blood and lots of it. It was just flowing like the first day of a bad cycle! I somehow made it to my office but couldn't function enough to even get my computer on the docking station and turned on. I tried calling Gregg with no luck...several times. Finally called Eli's daycare provider. Her husband was home so she said she'd call the hospital and say I was coming and come and get me. Meanwhile, I walked out of my office and there was my manager...I remember saying..."I'm pregnant and hemorrhaging and I need to go to the hospital." He very politely asked if I had a ride, which I did, and off I went. I tried calling Gregg's work's secretary. She eventually tracked him down and he got to the hospital before the midwife came in the hospital room. By that point the bleeding has slowed...almost stopped. When the midwife arrived the pulled in the ultrasound and there it was...one strong heartbeat. Which to me was udderly amazing by the amount of blood. The only explanation they could come up with was that I was carrying twins and we lost one. I'm not sure anyone can understand the attachment a mom feels to a miscarried child without going through the situation. I was a wreck. I had one solid strong heartbeat in my belly to pull me through rather quickly. I can't even imagine the heartache I would have felt had she not survived. And all that attachment at only 9 weeks pregnant. After that the pregnancy progressed smoothly.
Gregg very much enjoyed the job in leadership. He loved getting new people started in their careers. But the job soon became political and a numbers game. He missed and longed for the time when he was out in the field.
As Gregg was wavering on which direction he would go, IBM had a layoff. This was getting all to common in the IBM world, but this time it hit our world. In the morning of March 1st of 2010, I got the dreaded phone call from my manager. "There is a resource action and you have been affected! Your last day will be March 31st." I was devastated. I called Gregg and he said very calmly, "Its okay!" I remember almost yelling back..."I don't think you heard me, I am getting laid off!". Like any wonderful husband, he said it was a blessing. I had been working every night after the kids went to bed, sometimes into wee hours of the night. Some weeks doing 60 to 70 hours.
Now all of a sudden I was a stay at home mom with 2 growing boys and due September 11th. Also, with pressure from myself and others around me to look for another job. (Part of my layoff package included a career coach). I was torn between working in the field that I spend so much time going to school for and staying at home with my kids where I felt I was being lead. In April, I did get to take my 4 year old on an awesome trip just the 2 of us. One we still remember and talk about! But as the next couple months passed, I felt like I was a horrible stay at home mom. I had some much time dedicated to resume writing and job hunting that I couldn't just be a good mom and wife! I had a couple interviews that ended with questions about my pregnancy (very obvious by now) but no offers. I was very happy for summer. The boys and I had a blast being outside and having time with friends and Daddy when he would get home at night.
Gregg decided to go back out into the field in September, opening an office 25 minutes north of us. He kept his eye out for houses although I still wasn't convinced to move. I loved out house!
In September 2010, our baby girl, Alivia, came. Took us until she was about 3 hours old to agree on a name! The boys adored their sister and I was really getting into the grove of the stay at home mom thing! Also doing Pampered Chef shows to help our finances and working towards earning an awesome trip to Maui for Gregg and I.
In January we closed on a house closer to Gregg's work. We took a few months to move and were finally officially there at the end of March. This is when I got the phone call with a full-time job offer. I was excited and bummed at the same time. We still hadn't rented out our old house yet and the money would help. And part of me missed my mathematical job...but most of me knew I'd miss my kids more. But, a job offer from Mayo Clinic comes with great benefits and good job security...so here we go again! We found an awesome Nanny, who loves our kids and in April I was back to work!
Only now I was commuting instead of Gregg!
In May was our Pampered Chef vacation in Hawaii. It was awesome. I so wish I lived close to the ocean!
The summer went by so quickly, but I was able to get my hours changed so I could be home by 5 instead of 6pm every night. That made for some awesome evening trips to the pool and walks around out new neighborhood. We were also able to get in our annual strawberry picking at a friend's back in Wisconsin. In September, Garett started Kindergarten, Eli started his first year of preschool, and Alivia turned one! It was chaotic and crazy, but what's new, right? September 30th my dear friend from college got married and I was so blessed to be part of her wedding in California. We had a great trip.
The fall tends to be busy for me with the Pampered Chef business and all the fun holiday things to do with the kids. We love making apple orchard and pumpkin patch visits! And then Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are here and gone before you know it. Gregg also moved to a new office across the street in the early fall, he loves the new location! Gregg also finally called for his vasectomy appointment in October. He has said he was getting it done right after Alivia was born, almost a year before, but I said I wouldn't call for the appointment. I wasn't sure I was done, but I support his decision, I just wasn't making the appointment. Of course the appointments were already into the next year. His consultation was set for mid-January. Then the procedure set for February 3rd. In the last weeks of January, I finally felt content with 3 children. We had a great family, traveled well, which we like to do often. Then I thought I was getting the flu at the end of January. It wasn't until I started talking aloud to Gregg that we looked at each other and he said, "There is a test in the bathroom, take it!" Sure enough...one more 'famous last words' for you... we are expecting! Due date - two days after our 3rd's 2nd birthday!
This winter had been a slight bummer for the kids with its warmth. Only one sledding trip and one ice skating adventure was had. Although I know next year will come all to fast!
Well, it has been almost a year since I started work again and I am finally going to move to .8 FTE in April. I would rather half-time, but Fridays off is a good start! I want to learn to slow down and take in all the small stuff. Enjoy all the funny things my kids say! Hopefully I can learn to simplify and this won't end up to be one of my famous last words!
As a mother of 3 (soon to be 4), working full time, also carrying a successful Pampered Chef business and trying to be a good wife to her loving husband, I often get asked the question, "How do you possibly do it all?". And I don't really have a good answer, I just do it. I know a lot of credit goes to my wonderful family and friends! But thinking back, I think I have just always been this type of person. My husband Gregg and I started dating our sophomore year of high school. I remember him asking me the summer before college when I would slow down. I told him in college I won't get involved in everything! I had decided to concentrate on my studies and have time to do fun crafting and things on the side. I even decided to stop dancing to save some of my time. Famous last words right. By the beginning of sophomore year of college I was VP of Hall Council, working in the Math office, tutoring several students and one lab in Computer Science, and carrying 19 credits. (I'm sure there was more I can't remember now, 11 years later!) By the end of first semester I was accepting an RA position I would keep through the rest of my time there! He loves me despite my craziness and proposed on New Years Eve during that sophomore year.
Once finishing my 4 year degree, getting a job at IBM, getting married that summer, and starting my Pampered Chef business in the fall, I was so glad to be done with school I said I would never do anymore. Again...famous last words! Three months later my third line manager was advising me to go back for my Master's Degree, paid for by the company, before I decide to start a family! He knew exactly how to pull out my "I can take on anything" attitude and there I was in school again while working full time! It was scheduled to be a 5 year program while working full time, which would be fine since we weren't going to start a family for around 5 years anyway.
Once Again...famous last words...During my third semester (1 1/2 years in), after many doctor appointments, we finally find out the pain in my side was being caused by a cyst left over from ovulation and I was pregnant! Gregg and I are the oldest children and this would be the first grandchild on both sides. Needless to say everyone was very excited even though we had not planned on it. In fact, a few months before we were at our 5 year class reunion where a few friends already had kids and were asking us when we would start. We threw out our 5 year time frame (yes...notice it hadn't moved to 4 years...we were still saying 5!) and left it at that! Funny that at the 10 year class reunion...when we should have had 1 or been pregnant...we already had 2 boys -- but now I'm getting ahead of myself!
So our first born was a boy, we had no problem deciding on the name Garett (two t's to match Gregg's two g's) and he was a major blessing in our life coming in December 2005. My sister, Janna, decided to go to massage school and we talked her into moving to MN to live with us and we'd cover her school cost while she worked as Garett's Nanny in return. That was a huge blessing too. We will forever miss having her living with or close to us! Not long after she moved back to WI, Garett was 18 months old and we decided to have #2. Well little did we know when we decided we were already there! In fact I do remember a comment from Gregg to my Dad after a few to many beers saying "We never get to try!". He still gets teased for that one!
Now through all this time I was still working on my Master's and little baby Garett was learning a lot about databases, because I had to multitask. I read my textbooks aloud to him! I know, poor kid is either going to be a computer math geek like his mom or completely hate everything that is computer related! So my forth year I decided to double up on classes and get this master's degree done. That urge to be done was then intensified by the onset of baby #2 news. But I do what has to be done and I graduated and walked across that stage very pregnant in December of 2007!
Elijah (Eli) entered our family in February 2008. With Garett I had no problem going back to work when he was 8 weeks old. Eli wasn't a c-section so my leave was only 6 weeks long. I was not ready to go back at that point. I was finally getting the urge to be at home with my kids. I did go down to 30 hours a week...but for a salaried employee it was never just 30 hours. Although I did have my Friday's off with my boys. When summer came we spent lots of time at the outdoor pool at the Athletic Center. We loved it there. We also loved the park and shopping. It never phased me to pack up the two kids and head out!
Gregg had transitioned out of his financial adviser role and into a leadership role training new financial representatives. We had hoped this would cut back on his late hours, but it did not. The good thing is that it provided a steady paycheck, which we did not have on commission.
In January 2010 we found out we were expecting again. This one we did get to try for a few months! Hoping for a girl, but Gregg warned we were done either way! Just over 9 weeks I was walking into work and devastation hit. Just a couple weeks before at the first baby appointment the midwife thought she saw twins. We decided to wait it out instead of going in for a big ultrasound at that point. But now...at 9 weeks I feel leaking. I quickly walk into the building and straight for the bathroom. It was my fear...blood and lots of it. It was just flowing like the first day of a bad cycle! I somehow made it to my office but couldn't function enough to even get my computer on the docking station and turned on. I tried calling Gregg with no luck...several times. Finally called Eli's daycare provider. Her husband was home so she said she'd call the hospital and say I was coming and come and get me. Meanwhile, I walked out of my office and there was my manager...I remember saying..."I'm pregnant and hemorrhaging and I need to go to the hospital." He very politely asked if I had a ride, which I did, and off I went. I tried calling Gregg's work's secretary. She eventually tracked him down and he got to the hospital before the midwife came in the hospital room. By that point the bleeding has slowed...almost stopped. When the midwife arrived the pulled in the ultrasound and there it was...one strong heartbeat. Which to me was udderly amazing by the amount of blood. The only explanation they could come up with was that I was carrying twins and we lost one. I'm not sure anyone can understand the attachment a mom feels to a miscarried child without going through the situation. I was a wreck. I had one solid strong heartbeat in my belly to pull me through rather quickly. I can't even imagine the heartache I would have felt had she not survived. And all that attachment at only 9 weeks pregnant. After that the pregnancy progressed smoothly.
Gregg very much enjoyed the job in leadership. He loved getting new people started in their careers. But the job soon became political and a numbers game. He missed and longed for the time when he was out in the field.
As Gregg was wavering on which direction he would go, IBM had a layoff. This was getting all to common in the IBM world, but this time it hit our world. In the morning of March 1st of 2010, I got the dreaded phone call from my manager. "There is a resource action and you have been affected! Your last day will be March 31st." I was devastated. I called Gregg and he said very calmly, "Its okay!" I remember almost yelling back..."I don't think you heard me, I am getting laid off!". Like any wonderful husband, he said it was a blessing. I had been working every night after the kids went to bed, sometimes into wee hours of the night. Some weeks doing 60 to 70 hours.
Now all of a sudden I was a stay at home mom with 2 growing boys and due September 11th. Also, with pressure from myself and others around me to look for another job. (Part of my layoff package included a career coach). I was torn between working in the field that I spend so much time going to school for and staying at home with my kids where I felt I was being lead. In April, I did get to take my 4 year old on an awesome trip just the 2 of us. One we still remember and talk about! But as the next couple months passed, I felt like I was a horrible stay at home mom. I had some much time dedicated to resume writing and job hunting that I couldn't just be a good mom and wife! I had a couple interviews that ended with questions about my pregnancy (very obvious by now) but no offers. I was very happy for summer. The boys and I had a blast being outside and having time with friends and Daddy when he would get home at night.
Gregg decided to go back out into the field in September, opening an office 25 minutes north of us. He kept his eye out for houses although I still wasn't convinced to move. I loved out house!
In September 2010, our baby girl, Alivia, came. Took us until she was about 3 hours old to agree on a name! The boys adored their sister and I was really getting into the grove of the stay at home mom thing! Also doing Pampered Chef shows to help our finances and working towards earning an awesome trip to Maui for Gregg and I.
In January we closed on a house closer to Gregg's work. We took a few months to move and were finally officially there at the end of March. This is when I got the phone call with a full-time job offer. I was excited and bummed at the same time. We still hadn't rented out our old house yet and the money would help. And part of me missed my mathematical job...but most of me knew I'd miss my kids more. But, a job offer from Mayo Clinic comes with great benefits and good job security...so here we go again! We found an awesome Nanny, who loves our kids and in April I was back to work!
Only now I was commuting instead of Gregg!
In May was our Pampered Chef vacation in Hawaii. It was awesome. I so wish I lived close to the ocean!
The summer went by so quickly, but I was able to get my hours changed so I could be home by 5 instead of 6pm every night. That made for some awesome evening trips to the pool and walks around out new neighborhood. We were also able to get in our annual strawberry picking at a friend's back in Wisconsin. In September, Garett started Kindergarten, Eli started his first year of preschool, and Alivia turned one! It was chaotic and crazy, but what's new, right? September 30th my dear friend from college got married and I was so blessed to be part of her wedding in California. We had a great trip.
The fall tends to be busy for me with the Pampered Chef business and all the fun holiday things to do with the kids. We love making apple orchard and pumpkin patch visits! And then Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are here and gone before you know it. Gregg also moved to a new office across the street in the early fall, he loves the new location! Gregg also finally called for his vasectomy appointment in October. He has said he was getting it done right after Alivia was born, almost a year before, but I said I wouldn't call for the appointment. I wasn't sure I was done, but I support his decision, I just wasn't making the appointment. Of course the appointments were already into the next year. His consultation was set for mid-January. Then the procedure set for February 3rd. In the last weeks of January, I finally felt content with 3 children. We had a great family, traveled well, which we like to do often. Then I thought I was getting the flu at the end of January. It wasn't until I started talking aloud to Gregg that we looked at each other and he said, "There is a test in the bathroom, take it!" Sure enough...one more 'famous last words' for you... we are expecting! Due date - two days after our 3rd's 2nd birthday!
This winter had been a slight bummer for the kids with its warmth. Only one sledding trip and one ice skating adventure was had. Although I know next year will come all to fast!
Well, it has been almost a year since I started work again and I am finally going to move to .8 FTE in April. I would rather half-time, but Fridays off is a good start! I want to learn to slow down and take in all the small stuff. Enjoy all the funny things my kids say! Hopefully I can learn to simplify and this won't end up to be one of my famous last words!
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